NGOC CC
Saturday, September 07, 2024My sweet friend, Anya, interviewed me for KGNU, an independent radio station in Boulder. You can listen to it on KGNU's website, click here.
Anya and I met while working at Trader Joe's. I told her early on she was my favorite coworker. We'd stack produce together and her deadpan responses to my grocery commentary was a humorous relief to the surface-level conversations I would have at that godforsaken place. I ended up working there for only 3 weeks before I got a full-time job elsewhere. That was 2 years ago.After I quit Trader Joe's, Anya and I kept in touch. She came to some of my shows and we'd run into each other now and then. Anya eventually left to study abroad while I kept busy with my job and music. I hadn't seen her in many months and it had been a minute since we last spoke. But one sunny day in May, while I was wading through deep crowds at a Denver farmers' market, I heard my name— "Ngoc!". I turned my head to see Anya's glowing face smiling at me. The way the sun shined on her— she looked like a sweet angel.It's funny how things work. When I got my job at Trader Joe's, I was deep in it. Deep in my struggle. I had moved from Texas to Colorado earlier that year and the high of leaving a place that wasn't good for me had worn out. I was unemployed, had no cash, and I stole all my groceries to stay afloat. Colorado was no longer paradise, it was just life (and summer was over so it was really fucking cold). I saw my time at Tjs as nothing more than a pit stop to where I really wanted to go.A few weeks after Anya and I ran into each other at the farmers' market, she asked me to come in for a studio session and interview at KGNU. We recorded the segment in the middle of July at KGNU's studio in Boulder. I was in the midst of moving to a new crib and was fucking exhausted. But, to play my songs and talk with the homie— I'll do that anytime, anywhere, always.I like how life reveals itself to be a beautiful wave. Every current, every precious moment— our cumulative experiences guide us and become us. I have to laugh. Times which I thought were mere stops were actually unique invitations to see myself. I can't recall where I heard this piece of wisdom from, but I think of it often. It goes— you can't see the mountain when you're on it.I'm grateful for 2 years ago. I'm grateful for today.
Summer's last song and my final swim of the season. Goodbye summer, I had such a great time.
Thursday, August 22, 2024Free Palestine.I pray for the family members who have lost their loved ones at the hands of this genocide. From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.
Friday, January 12, 2024When does success enter if you're not a nepo baby?I used to think success meant getting rich. When I first began my music journey 3 years ago, I had an idea of success coming in the form of fame and money. Magazine covers and a fat record deal. Though as the days go by, I am beginning to understand the harm of both. No amount of power, money, or fame can protect you from being human. No amount of power, money, or fame can protect you from racism, classism, or harm. I see now that my original pursuit of success was shrouded with insecurity. Fear.Have you listened to Cyndi Lauper's song, "Money Changes Everything"?I hold my personal relationships deep in my heart. My love for others and their love for me is the most important aspect of my life. I rest with and cry alongside my loves. I express my fears and hurt to my loves. We hold each other. We love each other. My friendships and intimate relationships fill me with joy. Love is true fulfillment.So now when I think about success, I turn inward.I close my eyes. I feel my heart's pulse vibrate my body. I feel my blood flow through my neck, down my arms and legs. I see a little Ngoc who needs to be held. I see my loved ones. I yearn to be with them. To sleep with them and eat with them. To celebrate with them and fight with them. To run with them and share with them.I turn away from our capitalist, violent interpretation of success. I turn away from envy of nepotism.I turn inward.
Snow in my backyard this past weekend.
Monday, December 11, 2023I visited Texas for the first time since I moved to Colorado. I've changed so much. I see my people as the full, complex, beautiful souls they are.I've been pursuing music seriously for about 3 years now. I think it was in March 2021 when I fully committed to this life of sound and spirit. I was listening to St. Vincent's song, "Pills"— lying on my bed at my Dallas apartment near White Rock Lake. The heat was already thick. It was these words that pulled me in. I fell into kaleidoscope listening to these lyrics:Come all you villains / Come one and all
Come all you killers / Come join the war
Come all you wasted, wretched, and scorned
Come on and face it / Come join the war
Come climb the rafters / Come out to space~ Come for the answers / Throw them away ~Come kiss me stupid / Come kiss me sore
Come find me standing under the wallCome for the answers, throw them away. Music. Pursuing music. Making music. That was the answer- nothing else.I needed to leave Texas. I was crashing at my friend's family's place and my time there was coming to a close. I didn't know where to go. I wanted to move to New York City, but something was telling me it wasn't the right time. One night I prayed. I prayed that the universe show me where to go next. I prayed for an answer.The answer was revealed to me the very next day: an opportunity to move to Colorado.So off I went.I like the feeling of snow fall melting on my cheeks. I'm craving an ice cold summer river swim up the canyon right now. Nothing compares to watching the sun kiss the mountains goodnight.Living in Colorado has shown me more than I ever could have imagined. And none at all what I expected. It's the most breathtakingly beautiful place I've ever witnessed. I am filled with true fulfillment as the mountains greet me good morning every morning. I am also living in deep solitude.I'm incubating.
Tuesday, November 14, 2023I've been renovating my garage into a music studio since August. It is an ever-work in progress. I've never renovated a space before. It's a lot of work. I imagined myself knocking it out in a week or two, but after those first two weeks I realized this shit will probably never be done. When will anything ever be done? You have to claim completion.I am currently working on 3 songs. Tentatively titled "Closer To The Truth" "Grind" and "Yellow". When I was working on my EP in the spring I was constantly working, tweaking, and recording. Now, I'm not working under time pressure. I record some vocals on a Monday, some guitar the following week, mess around with some plug-ins in between. I haven't made enough songs for me to see a clear project.I've grown tired of living in Colorado. I moved here for personal freedom and a quiet place to heal. The quiet has made me weary.
Saturday, October 28, 2023Yellow. Autumn in Colorado is remarkable. How blessed I am to witness so much yellow.
Wednesday, October 18, 2023Music videos for Moon, Coast, Colorado Girl and LA Suits You. All from my EP Out The Texas Heat. All of these videos were directed by Jonas Bishop Hayes. Love him.
Thursday, September 21, 2023I struggle to make music and work my 9 to 5. The two things that make me feel like life is worth living for is music and love. Everything else is noise.